Mental Health Round: Eric McAlister’s perspective

By Eric McAlister, USC Rip City

Mental health is at an all-time low across the world. The COVID-19 pandemic has completely altered our way of life for the foreseeable future. Lockdowns have forced us into uncomfortable spaces and made us spend more time with ourselves than we ever have before. Conversations about mental health are being had which is great, however, there are conversations that still need to be started.

My journey

I have played professional basketball since 2014, playing as an American import throughout Europe and here in Australia. In 2015, my mother was diagnosed with stage four lung and brain cancer. Six months after her diagnosis, she was diagnosed with one of the rarest and most aggressive forms of cancer in the world. In 2016, I boarded a plane to play on the Sunshine Coast, knowing I had said goodbye to my mother for the last time. Four games into that season, she was gone.

When we lose a parent or anyone we love for that matter, the pain is indescribable and not something one can relate to until you go through it yourself. There is no rulebook on how to recover from that loss and most days you are just trying to keep your head above water. This time period did not mark the beginning of my mental health struggles but certainly marked the point in which I was losing my battle with my depression.

I continued playing basketball because it was all that I had known, and it kept my mind occupied. I played two more seasons in Europe before an in-game incident with my heart ended my time there. Upon being sent back to the States, I sunk further into my depression and began struggling with the thought of suicide. I had no direction in life- basketball was all I had ever known, and it seemingly had been taken from me.

Then I received a call from another team on the Sunshine Coast, Rip City. They were highly interested in bringing me back to Australia, however, were unsure if they would have the budget. A couple of weeks went by and no progress was being made. The glimmer of hope from that phone call began to die out and those thoughts of suicide came to the forefront of my mind.

In January of 2018, I decided to take my own life. Thankfully, moments before, I decided not to go through with it. The very next day, I received an offer to come back to Australia and have been here since, now as a permanent resident.

Dealing with mental health issues as an athlete is a bigger task than the physical side of the game. When fans watch a game, they see 40 minutes of effort. They don’t see the hours leading up to that game-deciding shot, or the mental anguish after a loss. Therein lies our problem. They also fail to see that you are a human, not a name on a box score, and your life outside of basketball has its own problems too. People were not aware my mother was dying in 2016, they just thought of me as ‘Eric the basketball player.’

Social media, scrutiny, and self-doubt

Nunawading’s Peter Hooley recently raised awareness with a tweet about the rude messages that NBL1 athletes are receiving on social media about their performances. He noted how completely unacceptable it is and I am glad he raised that point.

Hearing some stories from young NBL1 kids getting bombarded with disgusting DMs from fake accounts blasting them/death threats/abuse. It’s just not on. Simple solution, require ID to sign to socials so that your full name is always displayed... how tough will you be then? ??‍??

— Peter Hooley (@PeterHooley12) May 16, 2021

After games, many players struggle to shut their minds off, staying awake into the morning hours, replaying the game over and over. While thinking of their mistakes, they’re wishing they could have done things differently. We are all searching for perfection. Those messages can hit the right trigger to put us further in our own heads and down a road we do not need to be going.

Athletes deal with scrutiny constantly. One can argue that we put ourselves in that position by deciding to play a sport which is certainly true. However, making that decision should not be at the expense of our own mental health. Sure, criticism comes with the territory, but we don’t have to let it affect us. The solution is simple, understanding we are part of a unique community and banding together in support of one another. To know there is someone on your team and the opposition thinking and feeling the exact same way as you brings comfort and a sense of safety that is desperately needed.

Mental health as an athlete stems far beyond the external ridicule and judgement that we may face. Despite being less demanding than say, the NBL or WNBL, players are constantly training to perform to the best of their abilities. They are battling through fatigue, body soreness, injuries and the adversities that come with a season. To compete when it seems too hard is no easy task, but it is what we need to do because that is the expectation. Mental health in an athlete always deteriorates over the course of a season and the bandwidth of mental toughness shortens with each passing round. It is completely normal but are we doing enough to support ourselves and each other? Probably not.

What about the biggest mental battle of all for an athlete? Self-doubt. Any athlete that tells you self-doubt does not run through their head is lying to you. I do not care how talented you are or how under-matched your opponent is, self-doubt lives within all of us. The echoes in our mind that we will fail, and we cannot accomplish what we want are constantly needing to be silenced. Each game, each shot and each second on the floor has an opportunity to fail but it is the battle to find success that we are constantly waging on the floor.

Now take into account the pressure of playing well every game. As an American import, my career has been filled with the pressure to perform well in every game. Before games, nerves are going a million miles a minute, constantly trying to find the balance and settle them before tip-off. I look around NBL1 North, in particular on the men’s side- there are NBL players everywhere, many of whom are highly established players, some even being former Boomers. The expectation on those guys every night to perform is pressure-packed, whether they care to admit it or not. If they find success, that was the expectation. If they play poorly, it is the talk of the week around the league. That is the exact double standard we need to reframe.

All of that to ask- what are we really doing about mental health in sports? What do we do when the thing that is supposed to bring us the most joy, is actually bringing us the most pain?

Starting conversations about mental health

Now, more than ever, mental health needs to be at the forefront of our conversations. Australia has done a great job with its handling of the pandemic, especially compared to the rest of the world. I have watched some of my closest friends back home lose their loved ones to COVID-19 and the devastation it has caused. The NBL, WNBL, NBL1 and other governing bodies have done a great job of not missing seasons the past two years and that needs to be acknowledged.

However, there are still people throughout this country struggling greatly with mental health. Lockdowns, especially in Victoria, have forced a lot of people to spend less time in social settings and more time alone with their own thoughts. There are only so many Netflix specials and social media scrolls you can get through to distract your mind.

The best advice I ever received was the importance of “feel to heal.” We must allow ourselves to acknowledge how we feel and know that is okay. Vulnerability is not easy because we have been made to feel that way. The stigma of vulnerability is weakness- another thing we must reframe.

Our emotions are the same as signals from our brains when we feel pain from an injury. Those emotions are trying to get us to address something within ourselves. If we would not walk around on a broken foot, why would we do the same with our mental health? We must stop waiting until our mental health is so bad, we must seek help. As athletes we train our bodies to avoid injury by lifting weights and stretching, why do we not do the same for our minds? We can transform our reality simply by understanding having emotions is acceptable.

Tips from me to improve your mental health

So how do we achieve better mental health? The first thing is to understand we are like an onion. There are many layers we must pull back to understand what the root cause of our problems is. When we can be open and honest with ourselves, we can overcome every obstacle that comes our way because we have allowed ourselves a space to do so. Resisting the reality is the key step towards a deteriorated mental state.

Once we allow that vulnerability to take place and admitting to the reality, we need to ensure we have a healthy outlet. For some, it may be cooking or art. For others, it may be reading or a specific topic they enjoy. Whatever the case may be, it is important to have an outlet that is unrelated to basketball. If what can give you the most joy can also bring you the most pain, it is important to have a healthy medium for balance.

The final piece of advice I can offer is to live a healthy lifestyle. There is plenty of research behind a healthy diet and a healthy mind. It is well documented and undeniable. A healthy balanced diet allows our brains to not only maintain a healthy thought pattern, but it allows us to function at an optimal level. Exercise provides us with the right chemicals and endorphins to feel good as well. Again, something we have been told time and time again.

There is more to a healthy lifestyle, though. Mindfulness plays a big part in the lives of so many successful people. The late, great Kobe Bryant spoke often about the power of meditation, visualisation and goal setting. While it takes practice, it can become a very powerful tool.

If meditation is something you feel is too difficult, try journaling. Simply writing your thoughts down allows you to get them out of your head and create space for new thoughts or stillness. There is also quite a bit of research and study done around this as well.

At the end of the day, we are all incredibly blessed and lucky to be playing basketball at a level like NBL1. It is incredibly important to not lose sight of the fact that we are human beings as well, full of emotions and dealing with our own pain. Do not be ashamed to feel those emotions and never think you are weak. Weakness is not allowing yourself to feel that pain because someone else told you not to. You are worth being here and you are worth being the best version of yourself. You owe that to you and absolutely no one else.

To make this a better space for everyone, let’s ensure that we are first accepting of others.  Let’s make sure that we create a space that is free of judgement and safe, giving everyone an opportunity to speak their truth. Being vulnerable is an incredibly difficult thing to do but it doesn’t need to be that way. We need to reshape society in a way that makes speaking out on internal issues not brave or courageous, but commonplace and the expectation. You never know what speaking out may do to inspire another to share their own story and begin their healing process.

Final words

I am proud to compete in a league that understands the importance of mental health and raises awareness of such an important topic in society today. Irrespective of where I have played, mental health has been a challenge in each society. I want to thank NBL1 and all of its affiliates for granting me the opportunity to speak out on a topic that is incredibly important to me. I hope this article has provided the spark you may have needed to take the steps necessary to work on your own mental health.

Always remember, you are worth it. You are worth being here and you are worth the effort it takes to move forward to the best version of yourself. If you ever question yourself and whether you are worth it, I hope this story comes across your mind. There was a day that I was going to end my life because I did not know who I was or where I was supposed to be going. However, it is because of my problems I have found my purpose. I am still here, and I intend to change the lives of as many as I can reach. I stand with all of you suffering from your own battles and I am always going to be your biggest supporter when you feel you cannot do it yourself.

This article is solely based on the thoughts and opinions of the author. If this article has raised issues for you or someone you know, please get professional help by contacting Lifeline’s 24-hour telephone crisis line on 13 11 14. You can also chat with a Lifeline trained professional online at lifeline.org.au between 7pm to midnight AEST, seven days a week. If texting is your preferred option, text 0477 13 11 14 from 12pm to midnight AEST, seven days a week.